Mean Girls Still Exist…If We Let Them

I'm writing this post a few months after the incident so my perspective is slightly more level-headed than when it first went down. Suffice to say I was not a happy camper for a few days after it happened, firstly because the whole thing upset me and then after that I was mad at myself for getting so upset!!!! My husband was losing his mind because he couldn't understand how the grown woman he knew of 25+ years was reduced to a moaning, crazy person over TWO mean girls at Starbucks!

So here's the deal, I sitting minding my own business on a Sunday afternoon, coffee in hand, my girlfriend and I are chatting away, she has her back to this table of 3 twenty-somethings sitting and enjoying their latte's. Up to here, all is well in the world...the coffee shop is busy, heh, it's Starbucks on a Sunday and I am dressed in jeans and nice sweater, my usual jewelry with hair and makeup done. Now, if this had been 7 years ago I would have probably accepted what was to come. My own insecurities and for some flaws in society I would have believed that being laughed at for being morbidly obese was okay - AND it's NOT, however I would have been upset but probably would have accepted the social perception. BUT having lost all the weight and the BMI number to prove it AND I'm still being laughed at by mean girls??? DISASTER...it totally screwed with my head.. I couldn't compute - I thought I had a tarantula on my head or a dollop of non-fat foam on my lip.. but NOPE - neither...just a couple of rude girls who wielded an invisible sword of power and I allowed them to stab me with it, repeatedly. And yes, before you ask, they were definitely laughing at me and not someone else. It was blatant, it was prolonged and I still have no idea why. They didn't care that I caught them in the act, in fact it didn't slow them in the least, the giggling continued.

Like a good passive-aggressive I decided not to address the situation but rather to carry my stupefaction home with me where I proceeded to re-hash the scene in my head over and over until my husband was ready to move into the basement. Once I got things off my chest I started to rationalize a bit and in turn I began to calm down but I couldn't forget it. My very wise hubby said that I shouldn't forget it . He said that it was another learning experience and although not my proudest moment I needed to analyze why I let it affect me they way it did so that I wouldn't let it happen again - also I needed to shed the mental baggage of what I was carrying. I think I was stronger when it came to my weight when I was heavier, that is some kind of sad or strange irony - I am not a student of Freud but I will continue to sort out my emotions when it comes to drama's like this. I don't know how far I will get but I must figure out the OFF switch when I encounter being ridiculed in the future.

I follow a lot of other bloggers and posts and I read how people manage or fail at situations like this - quite a few swear words beginning with "F" come to mind and that is great, cavalier and bring a giggle when talking about it now but what will it take to have that ARMOUR the next time - in THE moment? Will I ever be able to not "give a fxxx"? when some mean shitty person sneers or shames? I am an extremely tough cookie and like most, I have encountered my quota of adversity and risen to the occasion but mean girls.... wow...that's some kind of super power right there and the unfunny joke is ... that I'm the one giving them that power, crazy right? By carrying that anguish or sadness for hours or days, I'm giving them that influence over me and that is NOT okay. I read a tip once that said, imagine if that "mean girl" was mocking your friend or sister...would you feel the same way or would you be strong and defend their honour either by confronting the offender or aiding the wounded? I know right away what I would do - no question - I would tell my friend or sibling that "the bully is just a nobody and means nothing in the scheme of things...fluff it off - they're just shits and you are fabulous" - So take your own advice Julie..put things into perspective and practice this perspective, BE YOUR OWN ROLE MODEL. Pretty Privilege and Mean Girls are the bane of my existence but I will address Pretty Privilege in another posting. I hope when the mean girls see that their 'influence' flounders and fails they will get bored and move on to Greener Pastures, after all - they are cows.... OOPS was that mean?